Diary of an Early Adopter – Back to the 70’s

I belong to a class of consumers that marketers call “Early Adopters” (or alternatively, “Mugs”). This means my passion for technology makes me willing to buy version 1.0 of any half-baked gadget that the manufacturers can sneak past their Quality Assurance department.

Sometimes a piece of technology is so far ahead of its time it should never have been released from the lab. My first memory of such a Technology Turkey was some time in the late 70’s. It was the first TV I ever saw with a remote control. Infrared remotes hadn’t been invented yet so what did this use? A sonic controller – that’s right, sound.

The remote had one button. I say a button, it was really a lever pressing on a bent piece of stressed metal that made a loud “clack” as it straightened. This clacker, forerunner to the modern zapper, performed only one function - to change to the next channel. By pressing the button repeatedly you could hop through all 3 British TV channels and start again at the beginning.

This wonderful invention was owned by a friend’s father, local restaurateur Mr Collodi, making him one of the first men in Britain to gain control of the remote. His reign of power did not last long however as his children quickly discovered that the sound from the remote was not the only thing that caused the TV to change channel. Whenever one of them slammed the door to the playroom, the TV would turn over. Soon, they worked out that they could have the same effect as the remote by clapping their hands. This quickly led to a battle of control between Mr Collodi and his two children. Dad would press the clacker to watch the football and the kids would clap their hands to change to the cartoons. Dad would press the clacker twice to get back to the football and the kids would just clap again.

During primetime, the Collodi’s lounge would reach a frenzy of clacking and clapping not normally seen outside a Tourettes convention. The high pitch sounds would eventually set the dog off barking. And each bark would add to the channel hopping.

Today in 2006 it takes 3 remote controls just to turn my TV on. The total button count on these remotes is 149. Perhaps I’d be better off with a one-button clacker.